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The reason why I love living in New England has a lot to do with its seasons and constant sense of change in the air. Like life, New England knows how to keep you on your toes. You see some seasons are exciting and filled with wonder, like autumn, and yet some seasons are bleak, ugly and just unbearable to work with; like shooting pictures in muddy spring. All and all a New Englander Yankee sense of dealing with what life or New England has to throw at them, has been a key factor in how Matt and I live our life and tackle stressful situations.

Like New England are relationship has seasons; right now we are in a high-stress completely unpredictable environment; as Matt and I adjust and resettle within New England, in the midst of trying to find a home, a routine and of course work-life balance. Today in fact, we are awaiting more high-stress news that could severally alter our plans; and as I sip my coffee awaiting the email carrying this news, I can’t help but think of how we’ve grown as a couple this year as we were forced to handle several stressful situations. Within the year we’ve tackled a completely flooded apartment, getting our luggage and all my camera gear stolen while in San Francisco, moving back to Connecticut with a month’s notice and now a few months later still looking for a place to live. Now by no means are any of these things life or death matters, but they do still come with a degree of stress, and today I want to share what I learned about how to maneuver stressful situations in a relationship with you all! 

Before we jump into the nitty-gritty, I want to take a moment to break down Matt and I’s outfit above! As I said previously fall is officially here in New England which means it’s time to pull out the corduroy and plaid. Corduroy is a New England staple from fall through winter, so it’s well worth the investment. Here I styled Red Fleece’s new corduroy skirt whilst Matt dusted off his Red Fleece corduroys from last holiday season. I paired the skirt with by far my favorite top in my closet this ruffle crepe blouse. Whether you’re pairing it with jeans, a skirt or a suit for work this shirt is always steamed, pressed and ready to go in my closet. Make sure to check out Red Fleece’s new fall arrivals here, and let’s get back to it. 

Step #1 For Maneuvering A Stressful Situation In A Relationship – KNOW YOU’RE A TEAM: 

When life feels taxing a great copout tactic is playing the blame game. Matt and I have both fallen victim to this horrid behavior trait, simply because it just seems easier to put blame or fault on the other person. ‘Matt if only your job hadn’t taken us to Texas we wouldn’t be constantly moving’ or ‘Aubrey if only we had taken the time to get our stuff out of the car, we wouldn’t have lost it all in San Francisco’; I mean the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve are endless BUT in the end remember it happened and moving forward as a TEAM is just about all you can do. So when stress hits try to problem solve backward by starting off with a mutual goal. What do you want to achieve moving forward, do we want our whole trip to San Francisco to be ruined OR do we stop at Best Buy repurchase all the camera equipment and move forward from there. Obviously, we chose the latter and while we lost almost all of our SF content, we still had a wonderful trip! 

Step #2 For Maneuvering A Stressful Situation In A Relationship –  DIVIDE AND CONQUER

One of the most stressful situations Matt and I have yet to endure is the purchase of our first home. To be honest we are still in the midst of trying to figure the whole process out but we’ve made huge ground by simply dividing and conquering tasks. Personally, I’m in charge of budgeting, the mortgage process, and renovation plans; while Matt’s been in charge of inspections, coordinating meetings and all forms of paperwork which is a huge job in and of itself. By dividing and conquering we each know what we’re responsible for and what we expect out of the other to accomplish. 

Step #3 For Maneuvering A Stressful Situation In A Relationship – YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS

In honor of being transparent with you all, I’d be the first to admit that come hell or high water Matt and I will be bickering in any stressful situation. With that being said we’ll 100% be laughing because somehow our bickering always ends in complete bursts of laughing fits. Matt and I are both headstrong and high maintenance, in our own ways. We both know what we want and we’re both pretty good at getting the job done but on the other end, we both have very different viewpoints and tactics for accomplishing our goals. By nature, I’m an optimistic person and believe in justice and simply put what goes around comes around. By nature, Matt is a pessimistic person and believes that people aren’t always on your side and instead seeks action and instant results. Overall you could say we both STRONGLY butt heads, but in the end we know each other’s strengths and take turns playing leader for the greater good of our goal. 

Step #4 For Maneuvering A Stressful Situation In A Relationship – GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

No matter what you say, there is always time to turn off and take a break. Whether you’re moving to a new city, trying to find a place to live, switching careers or welcoming a baby into your home; block one to two hours out of your week to escape to a movie or a dinner date. Just like with work it’s essential to turn off and recharge at some point, and it’s essential to reconnect and talk about something OTHER than the stressful situation you’re in. Personally, I recommend going to a movie because it means you’ll have two hours with no phone, no distractions and hopefully some greasy popcorn; along with a topic to discuss after the movie that is stress-free. 

Step #5 For Maneuvering A Stressful Situation In A Relationship – LAUGH

I mean in the end, sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. From home inspections going terribly, and I mean TERRIBLY wrong, to water flooding into your apartment one song into White Christmas; it’s all funny. Now grant it at the moment, it’s not all that funny but in the end, it’s hilarious.

Overall change is good and with change can come stress, so take a deep breath and be grateful you have someone by your side to navigate those rocky waves with. I hope this post inspired you to rethink stress and tackle some of those stressful situations you’ve been avoiding head-on. Finally, I’d love to hear from you! Do you have any advice on how to maneuver stressful situations in a relationship? If so leave your advice in the comments below. 

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