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“Comparison is the death of joy.”
― Mark Twain

We have all been there. The Comparison Game is stronger than ever, since the apps I know & love have entered our lives: snapchat, facebook, instagram, and even pinterest. We are constantly scrolling through, what all of our 1,000 Insta BFFS are up to, yet we aren’t shown the hard work, the sick and rough days or even the failures; we are just shown the happiest of times.

Which I’m going to be honest, I LOVE! I love seeing you all on vacation, people getting engaged, people celebrating birthdays or graduations, even people launching new businesses; I LOVE seeing everyone kill it!

But sometimes it gets a little, blahhhhhhh, and once your analytical side kicks in, your mental happiness starts to go down the flusher.  You can feel frustrated, left out, far behind, not successful enough, not fit enough, not fill in the blank enough. 

Basically I end up wanting to eat a platter of In & Out cheeseburgers, while crying my eyes out to P.S I Love You.

It’s easy to go down a slippery slope when we start comparing ourselves to others.

I’m one of those girls who could care less about the spring break trips to Vegas, attending Coachella or hitting up a bar on a Friday night; I’m not really a #FOMO gal when it comes to what people are doing with their spare time.

I could honestly watch Matt play video games, while I binge watch The Crown with a trenta black tea lemonade, and have the best night ever.

But, I do end up constantly comparing myself in terms of my blogging career. In 2017 it’s soooo easy to compare yourself in the world of blogging.

There are sooooo many bloggers out there & let’s face it, there are always going to be bloggers that are better at photography than me, have more followers than me, get more likes, have appeared to achieve more or who are rolling in collabroations.

& being on my phone, literally all day, whether that’s posting on instagram, snapchatting, engaging with you guys on instagram or chatting with you all over instagram stories; the amount of time I spend on my phone can be TOXIC.

Recently I’ve noticed a little bit of angst developing. I thought I was maybe in a winter funk, but I realized I totally had some built up angst. & when I looked up the word angst, I was like well I need to put my life in perspective and fix my attitude.

Basically, angst is the feeling of anxiety that is mixed with frustration and negativity. Ugh, guys I’m a big believer in energy, I think I get that from living in California for four years, but when I saw this feeling of negativity and frustration towards my industry, I knew I needed to change.

I LOVE running The Coastal Confidence but I was getting trapped into the comparison game of blogging which was making what I loved doing 1) more stressful than it actually is & 2) was making it hard to be completely personal with you all, since it’s breaking the ‘blogger facade of everything is awesome‘.

So I’ve literally called it quits on the comparison game & it’s still all very much a work in progress, but I felt like I needed to share these tips with you.

Whether you are comparing yourself to others in your personal life or career, it’s all just negative and it seriously can affect your everyday happiness.

Wake Up & Reach For a Book, Instead of Your Phone

You know the saying ‘someone woke up on the wrongside of the bed’? Well, it’s soooo right!

I hate mornings but to be honest, they set the tone for the entire day, so it’s essential to put your best foot forward in the morning and put down that phone.

For me that means, waking up & checking texts while I make my coffee, but spending from 8:00am – 8:45ish reading, with NO PHONE ALLOWED.

Do something to start your day off properly where that means waking up and working out, reading the newspaper, watching TV or going to a coffee shop for a cup of joe. Start the day off with as little TOXIC energy as possible.

Clean House

Ugh, I’m talking social media on this one! To be honest, I only follow 15 bloggers. Yup, that is it!

 Now maybe that’s rude that I don’t follow more, but to be honest following bloggers just makes my comparison game worse. Everyone runs their blog differently & everyone has different goals, so constantly watching what others are doing can literally derail me from being authentic with you all, and even worse it was keeping me from accomplishing my own goals.

 I’m going to call it as it is and say the blogging industry is a little too instagrammy for me, sometimes. I really want The Coastal Confidence to be a community where you guys can embrace and be insipred by New England living, and not just a space about Me, Myself & I!

Thus why I created the TCC Crew, I wanted The Coastal Confidence to be OUR SPACE to chat, share recipes, and capture the best of New England; plain & simple.

Limit Time on Social Media:

Okay if you are a blogger that is hard, and I literally had to train my brain to not go instantly to instagram. I saw myself scrolling through feeds, at the gym, dinner and even before hopping in the shower. WHO AM I!?

So, each day I set a goal of everything I have to accomplish on my social platforms and once I reach that goal & scheudle posts, I literally sign off for the day. It was really hard at first but Thank God for good books & Netflix Original Series to get me through life.

Exercise:

Okay, let’s get rid of that angst! Anytime I feel negativity/frustration building up within me, I hit the gym or simply go for a walk. It’s not about burning calories it’s about getting your body moving and getting outside of yourself, if that makes sense.

Set Yourself Up for Success:

Okay, what I mean here is if you’re feeling like something is missing #FOMO, write down what it is & go after it.

Are you missing a sense of community? Join a club! Are you #FOMO about everyone else’s travel plans? Plan a trip for you. Do you want to be further along in your career? Get an internship and learn from someone who’s already done it, or start that business you’ve always wanted.

GO after what you want & don’t sit around watching everyone else. Let’s face it, we all compare ourselves to others but all that energy could be spent on doing something amazing for ourselves. So Instead let’s be honest with each other, proactive with ourselves and a little selfish with cleaning out the bad.

Don’t Compare, Just Be! xx Aubrey & sorry for the longest/rant post. 

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