The Engagement Timeline

07.20.2017

Vineyard Vines Dress c/o || Shoes || Purse || Matt’s Pants c/o || Matt’s Shirt || Matt’s Belt Last month, I sent out an Instagram story asking for you guys to submit any and all relationship topics. I was overwhelmed […]

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Vineyard Vines Dress c/o || Shoes || Purse || Matt’s Pants c/o || Matt’s Shirt || Matt’s Belt

Last month, I sent out an Instagram story asking for you guys to submit any and all relationship topics.

I was overwhelmed with how many of you guys, submitted some hard hitting questions, which lead me to create some amazing content, like this post about why sharing a hobby, is essential and this post on 5 tips to maintaining fireworks in a long-term relationship.

Overall Matt & I aim to bring you guys relatable and valuable content, so we decided to tackle your relationship Q’s head on. Oh, and just to clarify, just because we are answering these questions, doesn’t mean we know it all or that our relationship is perfect; we just aim to bring you valuable content.

Anyway, I digress…

When I was sorting through the questions, one question stuck out to me, and by the way, we backlogged some questions for future content so if we didn’t answer your question just yet, don’t worry.

The question that stuck out to me was the following: ‘I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years now and I am currently not so patiently waiting for my ring, opinions?’

P.S: to the TCC reader who sent in this question PLEASE email me an update, when he does propose.

Okay, so this question is a question, I get a lot but indirectly. I know a lot of people are going to have different opinions on this question, so I was tempted to not answer, but what the heck, I’ll share my opinion.

The Engagement Timeline | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Okay, as many of you know Matt & I have known each other for 8 years (long-timers). However I’d say we are pretty non-dependent on each other, Matt went to a school in NY & I went to school in CA, and life went on. Even though we live together in Dallas, I’ll spend weeks at a time in New England shooting content and we really aim to give each other time to do our own things.

Yet, since we spend a lot of time together, hanging out with friends, working on the blog and planning collaborations; it appears we spend 100% of our time together. Which is 100% not true, I’d say we spend about 60% of our time together because I like spending time with Matt, I’d even go as far as to say we are the best of friends.

If Matt wants to do something, great go for it. If I want to do something, great I’ll be doing it. We don’t HAVE to do everything together, yet because we’ve been dating for sooooo long and are always together, I constantly get the ‘engagement’ question (basically on repeat).

‘When do you think you’ll get engaged’ or even worse ‘when is he going to propose’ I really hate that question because my answer is always: NOT ANYTIME SOON.

To be honest, I really don’t know why, but getting engaged isn’t even a thought that crosses my mind.

I get so many questions about engagement timelines and if Matt’s going to propose, I even got a DM yesterday asking if I was wearing an engagement ring in a recent post (lol).

Let’s all agree that engagements are EPIC, like who doesn’t love watching people get engaged and go through the wedding process, but it’s just not on my timeline.

Whenever I say that people then follow up with the second question, similar to the question above focused on figuring out THE ‘engagement timeline’ and this is my opinion on this topic: 1) be on the same page with your partner & 2) DO YOU.

So let’s talk about point one:

1) be on the same page with your partner:

To the TCC reader that asked for my opinon, I’d say stop waiting and bring up the converstaion.

Okay, maybe it’s an awkward conversation, especially if you’ve already hinted/are waiting for an engagement ring, but I’m a New Englander through and through and if there is one thing we are good at and it’s being blunt.

So just go for it, bring it up, talk about a ‘plan’ could it be in 1 year, 5 years or not even on the to-do list yet. Talk about it, because nothing is WORSE than being on two totally different ‘timelines’.

For me personally, it’s not even on the to-do list, there are just so many things that Matt & I have yet to accomplish professionally, that I don’t even have time to think about adding anything else to our plates.

& I’m happy with the status quo right now, so don’t expect any engagement Instagrams from me anytime soon, guys.

2) DO YOU:

Okay, this one is important guys, I’m only 23 and already my Facebook is filled with relationship status being turned to engaged (ahh).

& I totally understand how you could get engagement FOMO, ESPECIALLY if you have been in a relationship for a long duration, like 6 years, which is a wicked long time.

BUT, listen to your gut on this one.

Getting engaged ISN’T like the ice bucket challenge, just because two of your friends have taken the plunge DOESN’T mean you have to be tagged to do it next.

& also remember everyone is in a different situation, so don’t pressure yourself into something you’re not ready for. For instance, I wouldn’t want to be engaged until I knew Matt & I were in a settled location and knew I had accomplished certain goals for my TCC brand.

Granted maybe that criteria means I’ll get engaged later than my friends and maybe that means other people who have been dating for a shorter time, get married before me; but I really don’t care.

So just do you!

& if you feel engagement is the next step for you and your partner, then open the conversation, because who knows maybe your significant other has goals on their timeline they want to accomplish before popping the question.

Overall I guess the consensus is, there is NO one engagement timeline or rubric. To me, it doesn’t matter how many years you’ve dated, how much money you’re making or your age; to decide if you’ve passed the engagement timeline.

It all has to do with your gut, at least that’s what I think.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful & I’d love to know your opinion on the ‘engagement timeline’ below! xx Aubrey

& guys don’t forget to sneak a peek at Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale, it opened to the public today!

Photography by Beckly

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